this was posted to the old tfc mailing list by foolkiller:
A suggestion for a new group to be formed on TFC:
PLAYER KILLERS ANONYMOUS (aka PKA)
-----------------------------------Have you ever felt that sinking feeling in your gut every time you gleefully spill the blood of others? Have you felt yourself waking up in the morning with your first thought being "KILL"? Does killing feel better to you than sex? Do you find yourself unable to choke down a steak unless it is raw and bloody?
If the answer to any or all of these questions is Yes, you are addicted to player killing. This is, sadly, a problem that is growing in our world, and it is causing a lot of damage to people and things. Society as a whole is suffering the effects of Killers.
We at PKA receive hundreds of letters (many with blood on them) from players and regular denizens of areas far and wide asking if anything can be done about these killers. The most touching letters are those written by townguards and shopkeepers...For example:
Dear PKA:
My name is Fred, and I am employed by the city of OfCol in the position of Townguard. It's a rather uneventful job, as OfCol is a peaceful place...usually. The extent of my duties usually revolves around wandering a beat, clearing out hobos, inspecting the local shops, and removing drunks from the local Inn. It's a nice, quiet job that pays well. I have a wife and three kids who live comfortably on the salary I make from this position.One day, I was pounding my beat, rather bored..When I came upon 2 visitors to our city. One was a spellcaster in metal armor, the other was obviously a woodsperson (To the trained eye you can always tell them - 2 weapons) and they were fighting. Now, what they were fighting about, I do not know - But my job is to keep the peace. The orders of the city council are anyone aligned with good is to be protected. Part of our job requirement is that we have a spell cast on us upon being hired allowing us to see who is good and who is evil. The metal wearer was evil, and the woodsperson was aligned with good. So, as is required by the Townguard code, I gave our customary warning to evildoers - "Protect the innocent! BANZAI!" and drew my weapon and waded into the fray.
The metalwearer was female, not very attractive (ugly IMHO) and obviously used to fighting, because my size and skill didnt seem to impress her. She calmly looked at me like a mother would look at an annoying child, and casually cast a spell on me that made my insides fall out of my belly. Meanwhile she continued her attack on the woodsperson, while I laid on the ground groaning in pain. Sucking it up and forcing myself to stand - I feebly swung my weapon to try to help, she then cast the spell again, and I felt my life leave me.
One of the abilities the council casts on us is to regenerate from death, thankfully. I was given a stern reprimand from the council for failing to protect the innocent (The woodsperson died I was later told), and demoted a rank, then put back on duty.
Well, to make a long story short, PKA, I have died 30 times to visitors to our city who come not to see the sights, but simply to kill someone. I have now lost my job, benefits, and the security my family had come to enjoy. I am seeking employment elsewheres, but it's difficult to find work as a towngaurd when you've died so many times to those with so much more power than yourself.
Is there anything your group might be able to do to help these people realize the price they extract from society for what they do? I am but one example of hundreds. I know of many others that I am willing to share.
Thank you for hearing my plea, and I hope your group is a success.
Sincerely,
Fred (one achin ex-townguard)This is but one example of hundreds of others PKA has received over the months since we first formed. We are finally in a position now to offer our services to those who live only to kill.
If you are someone who feels the need to kill incessantly, you live only to kill, desire to do nothing beyond it, seek to do nothing to advance yourself to new levels of enlightenment, or your just simply a psychopath, then perhaps PKA would be for you.
We offer a wide range of services, from allowing you to take your anger out on practice dummies to counselling sessions in which we try to open your mind to broader, better horizons.
We offer this to you for the betterment of Society. The PKA is here to help. Those who join us join a group that is truly in harmony with all that is peaceful in the world. We are not under any illusions about killing however. We know our members are sometimes forced to kill, but what we do is try to teach you to control those urges.
We are currently seeking a formal charter from the Immortal denizens of our realm, and should we receive this charter we will formally open for business.
The PKA, in the meantime, seeks staff members for the roles of councillors and administrators. Currently we are a little shortstaffed and seek people with kind hearts and tolerant minds who truly desire to help others get over their insatiable killing urges.
Remember, the PKA doesnt seek to eliminate killing, we only seek to restore a balance of sorts, and help those who cannot help themselves become more productive members of society, regardless of alignment.